Sometimes,
a good relationship can be ruined by mistrusting your girlfriend. But
there are always suspicions... How do you find out if your girlfriend is
honest without putting your relationship at stake?
ADVISORY: The below are opinions based on personal experience from those who have experienced cheating on all ends. This is not a scientific method or anything sure-fire. Because this is relationship advice, it is infinitely complex, and requires serious finesse and strength of character.
Don't wait. If you have the feeling that your partner is cheating on you, it is best that you find out now rather than later. Having a thought of infidelity in your head can cause endless worry, leading to insecurities and doubt. Having these thoughts can destroy a relationship, real or imagined.
Observe. What led you to believe she may cheat? Is it her new "Friend"? Is she spending less time with you? Sharing less with you? Is she talking to or spending more time than usual with other men? Has she made any new single friends? Is she acting suspicious?
Watch for potential signs.
Tell her you love her. Does she say it back? Hold her hand. Does she try to pull it away? Does she look nervous? These are signs that she might be thinking of cheating. However, some girls are shy and if the relationship is new, she may be uncomfortable with some things. Although, if it is new, she probably wouldn't be cheating, would she?
Many women in this day and age have confused sexualities because of shifting standards. Your girlfriend might be thinking of cheating on you if she is wanting to experiment either with kinks or other genders. Do not confront her about this. Instead, try looking for things in her web-browser history: Google searches, Wikipedia pages visited, maybe even porno sites. If you find anything like bondage, anal, or bisexuality, try bringing it up as if it were your fantasy. More than likely if she can find it at home, she won't go looking for it elsewhere.
Remember that the reason cheating is painful is not because of the act, but for all the reasons it took place. Do not focus on the cheating act - try and repair or confront any relationship troubles. Either your relationship will end or it will be better than before, and either way, the majority of the time, she will confess to cheating or to considering it.
Ask her friends (not "IS she having an affair"), but about her regular activities. Then, you will be able to get some tips. Unfortunately, you are usually the last to know that she's thinking of cheating. Look for changes in her friends behavior. Are they hanging out with you less as a couple? Most people unconsciously act differently towards those they know are being deceived. Although they may sympathize with your situation, they are unlikely to rat out a friend.
Ask her about her opinion on a specific guy. If she hesitates to answer or becomes defensive or inconsistent, then chances are you might want to have a closer look at that specific relationship.
Like the old saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Has she snuck around other boyfriends in the past? If so, then, she is 2.5 times more likely to cheat then those who have never before. Tread carefully with these women.
In the end, follow your gut instinct. Sometimes, you just know things without having to second-guess yourself. No amount of crying and denial can rival the feelings you have in the pit of your stomach. After you've taken all the evidence into consideration, it's time to follow your gut. If she's thinking of cheating or has a wandering eye, chances are she thinks she can do better. If so, then maybe you can too.
If you find out she's cheating, discuss it with her. If she cheated out of ignorance or sexual confusion and genuinely regrets it, you should consider forgiving her. If she doesn't seem to care, dump her and find someone who appreciates you.
Remember it's not your fault. There are a myriad of reasons to break up with someone but only one reason to cheat. It is a personal failing on the cheater, not the cheated. Because if you didn't complete them, then they should break up with you; not cheat on you. So even if you are the worst person in the world, the only reason to cheat is because they have a problem, not you.
ADVISORY: The below are opinions based on personal experience from those who have experienced cheating on all ends. This is not a scientific method or anything sure-fire. Because this is relationship advice, it is infinitely complex, and requires serious finesse and strength of character.
Don't wait. If you have the feeling that your partner is cheating on you, it is best that you find out now rather than later. Having a thought of infidelity in your head can cause endless worry, leading to insecurities and doubt. Having these thoughts can destroy a relationship, real or imagined.
Observe. What led you to believe she may cheat? Is it her new "Friend"? Is she spending less time with you? Sharing less with you? Is she talking to or spending more time than usual with other men? Has she made any new single friends? Is she acting suspicious?
Watch for potential signs.
- Does she send you text messages or calls less often? If you start being the one to call or text her first, that's a bad sign.
- Secret phone conversations: Does your partner leave the room every time they get a call on their cell? Are they just trying to be polite? If your partner is trying to guard their conversations on the phone, there may be reasons to worry.
- Distinct changes in appearances: If your partner suddenly starts worrying a little more about their appearance, (new cloths, always clean shaven, spending more time in the mirror) they may be trying to look good for someone else. If they get dressed up for you, that's one thing but if they seem to spend a little more time looking good to go out without you, you might want to look into that.
- Picking fights: Is your partner picking fights and arguing more with you? This could just be an excuse to get out of the house. Picking a fight and then storming out of the house to get away from you is an easy way to go spend time with someone else.
- Lying: Catching your partner in a lie no matter how small is always cause for concern. Try to connect lies with certain time frames and you may have a connection to infidelity.
- Computer time: An increase in computer time may be one of the 7 signs you are being cheated on. There are many adult chat rooms out there that cater to infidelity. Check instant messaging, emails and so on.
- Friends behavioral change: If your friends seem to feel uncomfortable around you, they may know something that you don't. A classic sign that your partner is cheating on you and you are the last to know.
- Accusing you: Another common sign you are being cheated on is accusing you of the very same thing they are so guilty of, cheating. They may drop hints that you are having an affair because their own guilt is starting to wear on them.
Tell her you love her. Does she say it back? Hold her hand. Does she try to pull it away? Does she look nervous? These are signs that she might be thinking of cheating. However, some girls are shy and if the relationship is new, she may be uncomfortable with some things. Although, if it is new, she probably wouldn't be cheating, would she?
Many women in this day and age have confused sexualities because of shifting standards. Your girlfriend might be thinking of cheating on you if she is wanting to experiment either with kinks or other genders. Do not confront her about this. Instead, try looking for things in her web-browser history: Google searches, Wikipedia pages visited, maybe even porno sites. If you find anything like bondage, anal, or bisexuality, try bringing it up as if it were your fantasy. More than likely if she can find it at home, she won't go looking for it elsewhere.
Remember that the reason cheating is painful is not because of the act, but for all the reasons it took place. Do not focus on the cheating act - try and repair or confront any relationship troubles. Either your relationship will end or it will be better than before, and either way, the majority of the time, she will confess to cheating or to considering it.
Ask her friends (not "IS she having an affair"), but about her regular activities. Then, you will be able to get some tips. Unfortunately, you are usually the last to know that she's thinking of cheating. Look for changes in her friends behavior. Are they hanging out with you less as a couple? Most people unconsciously act differently towards those they know are being deceived. Although they may sympathize with your situation, they are unlikely to rat out a friend.
Ask her about her opinion on a specific guy. If she hesitates to answer or becomes defensive or inconsistent, then chances are you might want to have a closer look at that specific relationship.
Like the old saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Has she snuck around other boyfriends in the past? If so, then, she is 2.5 times more likely to cheat then those who have never before. Tread carefully with these women.
In the end, follow your gut instinct. Sometimes, you just know things without having to second-guess yourself. No amount of crying and denial can rival the feelings you have in the pit of your stomach. After you've taken all the evidence into consideration, it's time to follow your gut. If she's thinking of cheating or has a wandering eye, chances are she thinks she can do better. If so, then maybe you can too.
If you find out she's cheating, discuss it with her. If she cheated out of ignorance or sexual confusion and genuinely regrets it, you should consider forgiving her. If she doesn't seem to care, dump her and find someone who appreciates you.
Remember it's not your fault. There are a myriad of reasons to break up with someone but only one reason to cheat. It is a personal failing on the cheater, not the cheated. Because if you didn't complete them, then they should break up with you; not cheat on you. So even if you are the worst person in the world, the only reason to cheat is because they have a problem, not you.
Source: Mtandao
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